Your Childhood ends the moment you realize your parents aren’t perfect and you have to be more mature then them
Maybe that happens when you are 19
Maybe that happens when you are 7
M.A.P
©
Original thoughts and poetry
Your Childhood ends the moment you realize your parents aren’t perfect and you have to be more mature then them
Maybe that happens when you are 19
Maybe that happens when you are 7
M.A.P
©
If I were an artist I think I would create forever
The beautiful sunshine and rainbows in various scenarios
The power to recreate the beautiful world effortlessly
But i’m a poet
I choke on the words as they come to me
Edit and reedit until my fingers bleed
Its not a choice but after a victory
Its like a blood covered wound that keeps filling
Its the power of showing
Reminding you whats already here in all its ugly glory
M.A.P
©
My anger comes tumbling out like the wet clothes in an open door dryer
I hate poetry but i’m not allowed to say that
Because that’s likes saying I hate oxygen
I wouldn’t be alive without it even though it really is killing me slowly
I’m just mad and instead of throwing plates on the floor words smash into me
I get cut on the glass and the words bleed right out of me
It haunts me
Poetry is a terrible ghost keeping me up with his reminders
Like your trauma is still traumatizing
You are so tired but it doesn’t matter
You stay up all night and still don’t feel empty
So you choke down thawed ice cream
The crack of dawn is blinding
I want to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and be woken up like sleeping beauty
Treated like a princesses routinely
God knows I deserve it but he moves mysteriously
I’m supposed to be reading and the baby is sleeping
And instead of resting and laughing
I’m writing and dying and breathing
I’m tired of breathing so freely that release of fresh air feels so daunting
I’m trying my best but that doesn’t seem to be working
Googling what to do when your brain is self sabotaging
You would think I would have run out of words but they just keep coming
Like continuous vomiting
My teeth are clenching
Please stop
I want my sadness to stop spilling
M.A.P
©
24 hours can change your life
Im sitting in the chiropractors office and i see a pregnant women walk out the door seemingly happy
That was me
I was so optimistic
So ready and proud and free
I did everything right and cared more then anyone that things would go smoothly
Now im filled with dread
ive been ruined
i cant run from it because my husband wants a family
I do to, i want that love back, i want to be free
I want to be like Bethany Hamilton who now swims with sharks after her attack
how to you lose the fear of living
How can i be so distorted i dont know who i am anymore
i have to skip certain parts in movies
Its horrid how 24 hours can change a life
Or one or two or three
M.A.P
©
You always shower with your clothes on when you are depressed
Hoping their heaviness will pull you down until you completely disappear
I find you broken into pieces disintegrating into the water
I pull you out like hair clogging the drain
Undress you to lighten your weight
and hold you back together
And take as much as of the pain that i can carry
Throwing it down the drain
M.A.P
©
My childhood home with the backyard swing in the breeze and the sun setting after a warm evening dinner
Outside at night talking to the stars throwing a kiss to the moon rambling about my day
My husband holding me in a hotel bed alone with the white cool sheets and nothing but the warmth of our skin
Listening to a record with the open window and the sun shining on us dancing to the music
Writing in the middle of the night my hand covered in ink eyes swollen and tired but my mind so alive and vigor
M.A.P
©
People forget that romeo and Juliet were children
They called them foolish and naive
And they were
They were children
But i remember my first love
And i think if i was given the chance i might have died for him
He was everything in that moment to me
His eyes held everything i ever needed
There was a magic at that age of 13 that you thought other people had
Until you grew up
Why would anyone die for anyone these days
I think the world has lost part of its childlike beauty
Maybe being naive is ok
Romeo and Juliet had more love for one another then many people have in a lifetime today
M.A.P
©
I want one of those crocheted fabric fruit bags
That you throw on the counter and fruit topples out of
I want my tea to burn my tongue and its bitterness and charm to consume me
I want poetry to drip from my fingers and toes
I want to remember what its like hearing my sons laugh
He is so beautiful
My typewriter ink leaves art on the pages
The noise of the keys forever implanted on my brain
M.A.P
©
You peel yourself away from me
Leaving your shadow behind
The white sheets look more bland now
Hospital white
Not cream
I write poetry to not feel so lonely
But you are the poetry
M.A.P
©
We haven’t kissed in a few days
But our love is stronger in many other ways
The way you make sure I am always eating
Because eating seems useless when someone is dying
You hold me so tight that I can’t breath like my baby in the bed beside me
We lost everything
But some how I feel ok
And I know you pray for me
We haven’t kissed in days but I feel so much closer to you when you whisper my name
M.A.P
©