I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my mom standing there instead of me

I would notice in annoyance as I would tap my foot to music like my dad always did

Whenever I looked around in a busy coffee shop I felt like I was more them then me

 We are just our parents and pieces of other we pick up along the way




I have so many notebooks with a few words written in them

And then closed and never opened again 

Hoping maybe one day they will have fill themselves 

I’m tired of writing a story that isn’t mine 

I’m tired of of always being in pain 

I miss the days where being lost felt like home 




I think I might have been broken

Can you tell me if I look different

I’ve been too afraid to look in the mirror 

I’ve been cut open and they took something out 

But what did they put back inside 

The voices in my head don’t sound like me

My scar is so much smaller than I thought it would be 

Because in my head it was so much worse 

And every day I gently remind myself that I also have to heal the memory 




I think she finally saw through it all

Realizing that behind every smile there was pain

Behind every kiss there was doubt

And behind every happy ending there was more of a tragedy to create it




I ache for words that will break my heart

Because if the knife is already plunged into me then why not let yourself feel the pain

If we were made to love and hate then empty threats mean nothing

I shake with anger because I want to forget but all I do is remember




We don’t want to forget the little dresses we used to wear

Or the first time he kissed you and it felt perfect

We claim that we never think about the what ifs

We claim we don’t want to remember

And yet we hope we meet again

We lie to ourselves just like we lied to them




I’m ready for my body to turn inside out

To birth the life I created 

To throw up all the pain

Men say this should be so complicated 

And they do a pretty good job of making it 

But I am a women and liberated 

Somehow the hardest thing we ever have to do, we do it alone




I’m picking up pieces of my heart off the floor

You want to help but stepping closer will just crush the pieces smaller

I never thought you would be a problem, yet I never needed you more

You just stand there watching

You can only say sorry so many times before it’s no longer a savior

I wonder what she is thinking right now

I’ve never seen you look at me that way before

I’m not sure if its good or bad

Or just another heart hitting the ground

No longer a pretty favor




If you ever regret loving me remember that I loved you first without thinking you would ever kiss my lips

And maybe in 7 years none of your skin will remember mine but my god your soul will cry our for me in the night

I bet you’ll hang up the picture I gave you for your birthday and tell your friends you bought it somewhere because you cant bare to see something I made be thrown away

To bad you’ll never see me make our children then

If you ever leave me remember what life was like before me

Who are you going to call when you are mad at the world

Who are you going to call when the stars dance for you

Because I’ll be dancing with them