“Why do you still love him?”, she asked.

“If all those things are true”.

I smiled weakly and said,

“Because once you take the poison and are already dying.. you might as well let it consume you”. 




Someone in my family died today.

They were the peace and love. 

They were the hugs and kind words.

They were so comforting and happy.

It was a long cancerous process and I said goodbye so many times.

And sometimes I thought that it would be better if they were just gone to be put out of thier misery. 

But at the end of the day I never wanted them to leave.

And every morning I woke up and made sure they were ok.  

Then unexpectedly they were gone. 

And those 6 years of waiting still wasn’t long enough. 

I cried and then screamed and held their hand and told them I needed them to come back. 

I told them I couldn’t make it without them. 

I felt more pain than i ever thought possible

People told me it happened all the time

And Whisked the body away 

It was normal 

I should just accept it

Move on

But There was no funeral

No one else cried

No one sent flowers

No one asked if i was ok

No one grieved except me

And my brother and sister

It’s been 3 years now and i’m still waiting for the pain to go away

I’m waiting for it to be normal 

I’m waiting to accept it

I’m waiting to move on




Some mornings just feel a little raw

Like a scab scraped off a wound

Where the world just feels a little too real

The nostalgia clings to the air like static on a balloon

Like the rain washed away the make believe screen of the universe

And yet it always vanishes as soon as the clock strikes 12 noon





You’re like a matchstick.

 You came quickly and loudly and though it took some time

 Once I caught, I burned to no end

 I was a beautiful candle and I could not breath without you

Then one day you stopped lighting me

I was not enough anymore.

I was melted and you wanted something new

At first I let myself die, I missed the fire you gave me

You think you got away with this but now I’m back and alive again.

I molded myself into something greater then even before

 I found I don’t need you, Boy you hurt like hell but i loved you

But because of the pain i have to thank you 

And maybe one day you will see what you did not know

 I could have kept you alive

 But now you have burned out and no one wants you

 I can still burn and I can start over again and again

But matchstick there is no new life for you




You think you are in the clouds
Embraced in the thin blanket of your words
Let me tell you a little story that I overheard
You are actually a coward
You use your tongue a lot
But even in your mouth they sounded slurred
You can bully me all you want
But we all know jealousy incurred
You can rain down on our forward
You can lie all you want but honey we all know what really occurred
Thanks to you, I love him so much it’s absurd
You were just the rain cloud while our love conferred




It came like a storm
No one was ready
Young and old scared
Stores became empty
Streets filled up with uniforms
The whole world became unsteady
Everyone picked a fault on a political platform
Because it has to be someone
Now we all turn to the art forms
To escape from the fear of uncertainty
Everyone’s ready to conform
They would do anything to live more earnestly
But we all just stay home
And watch the news nervously
The left and right pick through it like a comb
Riots hit the streets fervently
But the truth is everyone just feels alone
It all has to end sometime I say
And they just reply certainly




My mind is about to explode
I’m only a sapling yet you treat me like a grown tree
You can’t base everything on what you see
They say I’m mature for my age
But they don’t ask me why
I guess it’s easy to get lost in a forest when I’m alone
I’m trying to be a tree but I can’t change reality
I think I’ve convinced you though
And I think I’ve convinced myself to a slight degree




Why am I scared of of something that comes every year
New beginnings and terrestrial endings
I wish it was an irrational fear

Beautiful colors drenched in distractions
Was there any peace in the world giving birth here
Can I appreciate the flowering and budding
Can I become fresh and perennial
I guess everyone sees the raindrops and all I see is the tears
What do I do when I’m finally happy and no one else is
Spring you were just our beautiful veneer





Romance knocked on the door last night

I closed it saying you’re not real

Lust came and slept with me

Nothing felt right anymore

Love climbed through the window

I told him the fake thing was cheaper

As i turned i kissed infatuation

i could not let him go

Fear wrapped around me

I felt sickly warm

Emotion threw me to the ground and beat me

Passion and zeal eloped that night

Without saying goodbye

They left me standing next to my old friend hate

And even when he left I still wasn’t alone

I knew i would never truly be alone

Even when i wanted to be

The loneliness never leaves



Soft Healing

Soft Healing

I woke up today and realized I haven’t harmed myself in over a year

I have been softly healing without even realizing it

I haven’t cried about my body in months

I ran my fingers over my body and loved it

Ashamed I used to cover it with my hand

I looked at my nose in the mirror and became proud of it